A New Way

A few months ago I got clear on a relationship I have had nearly all my life. This beautiful clarifying message I received lit me up from head to toe. 

I had been struggling with this particular relationship and I needed to find peace and respect between us. Over the past 10 years or so I have been enquiring with this relationship and how it impacts my life. 

I’ve read many books, attended and held workshops around it and always come away feeling there is something I am yet to understand. That there is something I need to unearth around this relationship in order for me to relate more freely and openly in it. 

So you will understand why this realisation I had, offered huge relief as I had been searching for a long time.

Let me explain more. 

This relationship is with money. 

Particularly with earning it.  I mean listen to that.  Earning it!  What does that even mean?  The Cambridge dictionary’s second definition of the word EARN is “to get something you deserve”.  Do we deserve money?  Deserve being “something you are worthy of”.  Are we worthy of money?  Gosh. That’s a whole other rabbit hole to go down, and I will leave that question with you the reader.

So what is my main challenge in my relationship with money? 

Mostly I feel uncomfortable “charging” for my work.  I do not align with the idea that I need to claim my value which is a concept I often read when people are advising around money and self-worth.  I know some of you reading this will want to challenge me further.  Trust me I have sat with this over and over and it doesn’t speak to my heart. 

I know my value.  My love and work is priceless.  It does not carry a finite monetary value. 

Darren Deojee, whose insights’ I respect and relate to, clarified it for me when he shared around the “charge” of the masculine. (Do not muddle masculine with only about men.)  I am talking about energy here.  The outward, penetrating energy of the masculine.  Think about charging on a horse. 

Charging has a strong outward energy and that is exactly what it is.  Outwardly asking for money in exchange for products or services, before the product or service has been exchanged.  This charge is often a criteria that is considered by the receiver of the product or service, before making the decision whether or not they can “afford” it.

This charging energy does not sit well with my heart, which is feminine at it’s core.  (Again do not conclude feminine as only about women.)  I ascertain we are all our own unique blend of masculine and feminine energies in either a man’s, woman’s or non-binary person’s body.  We have a unique ratio of these energies present in us, that I believe can change during our life time as we change and grow. 

The primary qualities of feminine energy are receptive and soft.  The qualities of the masculine energy are penetrating and hard. It’s all there at the point of creation.  The yin and yang.  The egg and the seed.  The binary energies we are created from, live in and at this point in our evolution are challenged by! 

So how does this relate to me and you? 

I long to be of service to people.  I love nothing more than being invited to support people to discover more about themselves through their joy and pain, and remember the uniqueness of who they are and why they are here. 

I realise my services as a guide, facilitator and healer are invaluable.  I choose not to put a monetary value on them.  

I need to be of service from my open heart and be open to receive whatever the recipient of my services wants to give, and trust the value they place is correct for them.  From nothing to infinity, it’s all ok. 

And to be clear if they choose to pay nothing it does not necessarily mean they do not value me.  Not at all.  

I receive so much from being of service the money is merely a reciprocal exchange of the energy I share, and not a prerequisite. I surrender to receive whatever the recipient wants to give, and I do this in full trust. 

In the past I myself was often unable to receive the support services I needed because I did not have enough money.  Was I unworthy? Undeserving? 

I will not let that be a reason people cannot access my healing and guidance if they need it.  I put the value of my services in the hand of the receiver. 

There is something very beautiful in the layers of receiving.  Initially I receive the joy of witnessing and being part of the recipient’s healing experience, which is why I do what I do, and always holds value and learning for me too, and if they then choose to cross my palm with silver that is a bonus, and one I am grateful for. 

I love this experiment.  It lights up my soul.  

I am sure there is more I could add to flesh out this article and the experiences that led me and here and yet I feel to keep it simple. 

This is enough.  I am enough.  You are enough. There is enough for everyone.

I hope it helps you understand a little more about me and how I show up in the world, especially if you choose me to support you in your life. 

Anna